The secrets we can't tell
by Oxoxhi
Summary: Sonny has a daughter who wants to know more about her father. Sonny is afraid to tell kayle what her father has done and some other things that could hurt the people she loves so much she could loose them forever.  story is alot better then this!  R&R!
1. Daddy

"Mommy!" Kayle stammered before I could close the dorr to let her sleep.

"Yes baby girl?"I was hoping she wouldn't ask if daddy was going to come home tonight. But 90% likely she would because that was on the lines of what she did every night.

"Does daddy still love me?" I slowly let my head flop down and closed my eyes.

"Baby girl, of corse he does!" I walked over to the side of the bed and sat down. She rolled over to face me. Her face gloom.

"Then why does he not come home and rock me to sleep or read me a bed time story?" I didn't know what to say. I was stuck.

"Baby, I don't know most of what your father does. But you need to know that mommy loves you so much! And that I would do anything for you! Anything at all!" I smiled at her, and she smiled back. "I love you mommy." I smiled big. I loved to hear her say that. Does she feel the same way when I say that to her? "Aww, Baby girl, I love you too!" I gave her a hug then a kiss on her forehead before getting up. "You need to get some sleep. I love you night." She smiled. "Night mommy."

I walked out of the room closing the door behind me. I leaned on the wall and slid down to sit on the floor. Gosh, I didn't know what I was going to say anymore. I mean every night she would ask something about her worthless father.

Her father... He has done so much to my family. He has done so much to my daughter. But she doesn't remember. Maybe that's for the best, maybe its good that she doesn't know what he did to her. But one day she is going to ask why he never came back... Why he never even called to say hi. Why no one even mentions him. She is going to ask. She is going to want to know. But I don't know what I am going to say. That he hit her so bad she was in the hospital.

My own parents covered him up saying she got in a really bad car accident! Why? Wouldn't they want to protect me and my daughter. Even thought they were mad that I got pregnant at 14, Even on Kayle's third birthday They didn't show up. They were mad at me. I mean that was a month ago and they are still mad.

My baby girl, She is safe. But all the secrets that she can't know right now. All the secrets she shouldn't know.

But its hard to keep the horrifying secrets from people.

**Thank you for reading chapter one! I don't know if the story will be a hit. But I was just seeing were it would go from here! Thank you for reading! Please Review! **

**Love you guys!**

**Sierra! 3**


	2. Where did he go?

**Even though I didn't get much publicity with this story I am glad that people like it! BTW I was super excited when I saw that SonshineDays, One of my favorite authors! Added this story to her favorites! Thank you all! Love you guys!**

**Sonny's POV**

I awoken, my neck hurt. Apparently I fell asleep on the couch. I looked up at the Round, blue grey clock hung on the wall. It was 6 :43. Kayle didn't get up for about an hour. I dived off the couch, and strolled to the kitchen. Egg's... egg's. Well we were out of eggs. So what would I make for breakfast.

"Mommy." I heard Kayle say from above the stairs. "Coming sweetie." I marched out of the kitchen and into the living room. "Come get me mommy." I smiled at her then walked up the stairs to go get her. I raised her up. She rested her head on my shoulder holding a teddy bear in one hand and the other hand was rapped around my neck.

"Mommy do you still miss daddy?" I tried to stall her. No, I don't miss him. But what if I did tell her that. What would she say after. Why? I mean it would bring us to everything that need's to be locked in the box forever... For good.

"What do you want for breakfast today? We can go out if you want." I could feel her head raise off my shoulder and look at me with a smile.

"Mommy! Yay! But I don't want to choose. We go were you want to! I bet were you choose will be a lot better then where ever I would choose." She was so sweet, She put every one first.

"No baby girl! You choose! Why don't you sit down, watch TV and think about what we are going to have for breakfast." She nodded, I switched the TV on and sat her down on the couch as I went upstairs to get her clothes and get changed.

**Later**

We arrived at I-Hop, That was her favorite place to eat. We got seated at a booth. We sat across from each other. We then got are food. "Mommy you never did answer, Do you miss daddy?" I didn't answer.

"Mommy?" She mumbled she looked me in the eye.

"Sweetie I... I am not sure. Me and Daddy just didn't get along really well." Technically that's not lying.

"So you don't miss daddy?"

"Yes of course I do!" Now I was lying. I feel horrible.

"He did love me, but I just don't understand why he left us mommy."

"Sweetie I was going through something hard, and he was also. So he was going to take a break."

"But mommy, he didn't even say bye to me. He just left. Its been a long time! Mommy... Were did he even run off to?"

"What do you mean sweetie?"

"Did daddy die?" I looked at her so confused.

"No of course not! I would have told you if that happened!"

"Would you tell me if anything else happened to him or anything?" I paused.

Am I going to have to tell her?

**Thank you for reading chapter 2! PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW! love you guys!**

**~Sierra**

**p.s. Please Review!**


	3. You are going to aunt Tawni's

**Chapter 3, The Secrets We Can't Tell!** **Thank you for reading!**

**Sonny's PO****V**

I tried to keep my eye's averted. I felt so childish. But I didn't know anymore. I was lost. I was so scared. I looked around the shop there were waitress's running around to all the tables. I didn't really eat any of my food. I just wasn't hungry anymore.

"Hey, Mommy. Do you have to work today?"

"Nope! Me and you are going to hang out!" I took the day off today. She has been kinda upset more and more each day about her father. So I want to get her mind off of it.

"Do you want to go see aunt Tawni?" I smiled at her. She nodded her small head! Her blonde hair Flapping while she did. Her blue eyes staying on her fork!

"Mommy, are you going to stay at aunt Tawni's to?" I thought about it for a few minuets.

"Mommy has to get something's done. But you will have fun with her and Joey!" She frowned.

"Mommy I am not looking forward to it now! You know Joey is not very nice to me! He is also like 17 years old." I looked at her and sighed.

"Sweetie! I know he isn't to nice but you will be fine! You go over there all the time! Aunt Tawni is right there and Joey is usually out!" Now I regret bringing him up.

**Later (after breakfast and Kayle was dropped off at Tawni's)**

I was going to go over to my parents house! I wanted to get things straightened out! Maybe They will start to see that I am there daughter and Kayle is there granddaughter! That John hit my baby! There granddaughter! That he hit me! There daughter! That he beat me and Kayle both black and blue! Why wont they see this? Why take his side? What did I do? Honestly I don't care what I did! But they should be defending there only granddaughter. Not even the fact that I am there only daughter. I don't know why I even try to make them like me! But when they make my daughter upset because of what she has to go through! She has no father, and now no grandparents. And she wonderes all the time why they don't care to see her... Just like John. Sad when you have to class you parents and abusive x-husband in the same category.

On my way.

**Thank you for reading chapter 3! Love you guys please review! PLZ :D**

**Sierra**


	4. When your ready Call me

**Chapter 4 **** Thank you for reading!**

I drove slowly down the last road before pulling into their drive way. They probably didn't even want me to be here. But I had to do something. Maybe at least getting them to realize everything, but honestly I don't think that is going to happen.

I slowly pulled into their driveway and pushed open my door. I stepped out and looked at the house before me. I lived here when I was a child. I closed the door and walked up the steps to the front door. **knock…knock…knock **

I heard the dogs bark inside the house. "Shut up!" I heard my mother yell at them. A loud bang and the door slowly opened. She took one look at me before shutting it in my face.

"Mom really?" I yelled. She again opened the door and glared at me as if I disgusted her.

"Don't you call me that! I don't see you as my daughter! So don't ever call me that again!"

"What have I done to you?"

"I am done with you! I am tired of your shit! I am tired of your games!"

-I paused… I had no response.- "GAMES?"

"Yes! Look at what you did to John! You made excuses to get him into trouble! What was the point of that? Huh?"

"What are you talking about? You saw him hit me… You even saw him hit my daughter!"

She rolled her eyes in disgrace. "You are such a liar… I remember when you were a child… you would walk around in your stupid little dress and try to lie your life through with your 'puppy dog face'."

"Okay, honestly. Even if I did do that… You were stupid enough to let me get away with it! Kids do that! But that's not what I came here to talk about! How did it go to you saw him hit me to when I was a child? I don't see the resemblance…"

"Will you just shut up!" She slapped me across the face with one quick motion. "GET OUT OF HERE!" She yelled at me. But I wouldn't take it!

"You just remember… When you get over this stupid faze that me and my daughter, aka your granddaughter and your daughter, mean nothing to you and you realize that we do. Don't expect us to be willing to run back to you… Because it is not going to work anymore…I am done with you. I was trying to come back here so that you would see that Kayle and I are supposed to mean something to you… that we are supposed to be somewhere in your heart. –I paused to look at her reaction… shocked- "but I guess were not, are we?" I walked away without another word. I could see her face as I jumped into my car and put my key in the ignition. She was thinking about apologizing. I could see it in her eyes.

But I told her I wasn't going to bug her anymore about this… So when she was ready to make a commitment to Kayle and I then she can call ME! Other than that… I am gone…

I really hope I can stick to this plan and not go running back when I get scared… or when things get hard.

**Thank you for reading! **** Please review! XD Please **** It will make me happy :D **

**~Sierra**


	5. I was loosing you till you lost me

**Hey guys, so here is chapter five on 'The secrets we can't tell'**

**I hope you like it! **

**Oh btw, sorry this is SO late! I know I have been lacking! Sorry for the wait **

**Love yah!**

**Sonny's POV**

I really can't deal with my mom doing this to my daughter anymore. She needs to be there for us. Kayle needs her grandmother. But before she can even be near my daughter she needs to try to me a mother to me. John, he has hurt me. He has hurt my baby and...

I really can't do it anymore.. I just can't.

I let my heart race, there was no reason to stop it. I let my mind Swirl around me like a tornado. I really can't stop that anymore. I can't do it anymore.

I don't know if I can even trust myself anymore. I know that Kayle needs her Mom, I do... but I don't know if she needs to see me like this anymore.

Because how can a baby deal with this... when her own mom can't?

I pulled my car off the side of the road. I had to end this. I couldn't stay in this world forever. Not anymore. My car sped off the roads edge. The fall was long, but it was so fast. No time to even think things over one more time. I was plunging to the ground so far below me.

I was going to die...

**Tawni's POV **

I got the call afternoon the same day.

Sonny had killed herself. She is in the hospital now. She is dead... she is gone. But the doctors want me to bring Kayle by... So she can say her last goodbyes, hold her mommy's hand one more time, sit in her lap one more time, but feeling no reaction from her.

I don't know if I can bear to watch this.

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

When we got to the hospital the doctors lead Kayle away... taking to see her mom. Her mom who was no longer in this world. How could she do this? How could Sonny do this to her own daughter. She needed her. Out of everyone... her own mom left her. That's not right...

**Kayle's POV**

A nice lady with a white coat on led me to this room with a closed door. When she opened it there lied my mom. She was pail. She was solid. Something was wrong... I could feel it. I could feel it when Tawni put me in the car with watery eyes. What's happening?

The nice lady knelt down to my level.

"Sweetie -one of her hands rested on my shoulder- You must say you goodbyes to your mommy okay?" I was confused... why do I have to say goodbye? Why was she even here?  
"Wha -I was cut off, she already knew my question- "Your mommy died this afternoon." That is all she said. That is all... Not how she died, not why she died. I need to know. She is my mommy.

"No! You are lying to me. Stop it! This isn't funny! Does daddy have you up to this? Does daddy know That we know? Why are you doing this! Stop messing with me!" I screamed as tears ran down my eyes.

"Mommy!" I ran over to her bed jumped up to the chair next to her bed so that I could jump on her bed right next to her. Her hands are cold... like ice. Her face is pale. She didn't look normal.

"Mommy wake up and tell them they are lying! Please mommy! -after awhile of no respond I knew it was true- You can't do this to me mommy. Please wake up." I held her hand. I held it tight. She wasn't leaving me till I had to leave. But her loose hand, became tighter around my hand.

Her face from pale, went to white.

My mommy's eyes did not open, but she was alive, she was alive and I screamed. My mommy was okay. She was going to be okay.

…. I think...

But they dragged me out of the room. I was thrown in the waiting room. But that is when the world around me went dark... and my life was fleeing my body.

**Thank you for reading chapter five! :) Lots of drama got to love story drama :) **

**Thank you for reading once again and please review I would love to hear what you think! :) **

**~Sierra **


	6. We both live, but is that enough forever

**Chapter 6 of 'The secrets we can't tell'**

**Decided to update! :) Don't forget to Review please! Kinda thinking about not continuing this story... what do you guys think?**

**Leave a Review and tell me! 3 love you guys!**

**Thanks for reading! **

**Tawni's POV**

Sierra had passed out, and was rushed to a room where they can help her. I heard someone run down the hall behind me as I watched Kayle be pulled away in front of me. Someone touched my shoulder.

I turned around, a doctor out of breath mumbled something fast.

"S...hee... a...ke" My confusion was overwhelming. Then the doctor repeated slower. "She is awake! Sonny has woke up." My eyes grew big! Sonny was alive! But... she is going to be told her daughter is dying. She can't get up and go see her. She is still in bad condition and can't get out of bed. ,

I walked in with the doctor into Sonny's room. Where she is laying on the bed, now with needles and things hooked up to her. Her eyes are squinted, but she is awake. "Sonny?" Her head moved a little. "Hey... -she took a long pause- Where is Kayle? I really need to talk to her." She sounded worried. But it was weird. She looked at me like nothing happened. "Well um... -the doctor interrupted me- "Your daughter has been rushed in for emergency care." Sonny with out any wait, hopped out of bed and ran for the door, till the doctor stopped her and put her back in the safety of the bed.

"You are not aloud out of bed... and even if you were aloud to... they are working on her... no one is aloud to be in there."

Sonny didn't say a word... but she was thinking a whole lot. Her eyes are blank, she is staring at nothing... but everything.

**Sierra's POV**

I felt a hand grab mine, dragging me up to the sky. I saw myself laying in a bed.. looking like mommy did. But that's when I saw mommy. She was okay... she was alive. I wasn't ready to leave then. I needed to get back down and be there for mommy. She is waiting for me isn't she.

I looked up at the man dragging me to heaven.

"I don't want to go.. please let me go home to mommy. Just one more time. Please..." I told the man. We stopped moving and he looked at me and smiled, but said nothing. He let go of my hand, and I felt me falling far back to my body.

And I got there...

But the pain in my body is unbearable. I don't know what to do...

••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

**Sonny's POV**

I was able to leave the next day, but I didn't I was sitting in the waiting room for six hours after I was released. Then a doctor came out, and I knew... I just knew... He was going to call my name.

"Sonny -I didn't even let him finish- I walked right up to him and asked him how she was doing. He told me to follow.

"Your daughter... she is alive, she is okay.. but we are afraid that she is sick." The doctor said.

"What do you mean, like a cold? Or what?"

"Your daughter has brain cancer... we are afraid that it has spread far, but we might have caught it in time. 55 Percent she will live through this. 45 She doesn't make it."

I felt darkness hold me... my daughter. My own daughter, she has brain Cancer. I didn't see any signs... But I wasn't looking for them.

I didn't expect to live... and be told this...

**Thank you for reading... I am super sorry this is short. Kinda running out of ideas. I have a great idea but I need to put it in at the right time :) I love you guys! :) Please review!**

**Thanks!**

**Sierra**


	7. I am going to be okay

**Thank you for reading chapter 7 on 'The Secrets We Can't Tell'**

**Please R&R! :) **

**Love you guys!**

**Sierra**

_**Sonny's POV **_

My daughter has brain cancer. I was just told one of the worst thing a mother can be told. I just stood in shock. This seriously can't be happening. But sadly it is. After everything that just happened with my mom... mom. Should I call her and tell her whats going on. I don't even know if she will answer

****Underlined is Sonny, Italics is Her mom****

I called.

_Hello?_

Hey... I really don't want to be talking to you and I know that you don't want to be talking to me, but Kayle has brain cancer.

_Okay? I don't care..._

Whatever... Bye

_Umm hmm..._

The call ended. Why is she doing this. I know that somewhere in her that she cares. That she really loves me and Kayle. But why can't she just... show it? John takes advantage of my family... and all because we got some serious money. I don't think he would have even looked at me if I didn't have money.

I ran into the room where my daughter lied with things hooked up to her all over her body. That picture sits in my mind, horrible. She lays there, with her eyes closed. Things shoved up her nose to help her breathe and just everything makes you feel weak as a mom seeing this.

You don't know what to do. I walk to the side of her bed and put my hand on hers and rest it there. I speak, wondering if she can hear me the whole time. "Kayle, You are going to be Okay. You are going to fight through this with me right next to you. You are aloud to be scared, but you need to know that I am right here... I will always be right here." I cried, with my head down into are connected hands.

"Things are going to be okay mommy." I heard a small voice say. I felt her hand tighten on my hand. I looked up at her open weak eyes. "How are you feeling?" I asked her worried.

"I am okay...I have some pain in my whole body, but other then that I guess that I am okay." She smiled at me.

_55 percent chance she lives_

_ That leaves the other 45 percent... she doesn't make it though... _

**Sorry this chapter is so short! But I hope you like it! :) **

**Please R&R**

**Love you guys :)**

**Sierra**


	8. Flashback

_**Flashback**_

"_John! Please stop! That hurts." I sobbed out. His fist pounding me. Each shot he took, a shot closer I was done. _

_He grabbed my hair and pulled it really hard out of my head. A handful of hair sat in his hands. _

"_Why do you do this to me?" I sobbed into my knees once he was off my body and I was sitting in a corner crying. _

_He watched. He watched me cry my eyes out. He watched me grasp for air. He handed me a knife. A sharp one. New. _

"_Do it." I look at him puzzled. What did he want me to do? I know what I wanted to do. I wanted to stick it in my chest. I wanted to get it over with. But even more I wanted to end his life. I wanted to stick it in him._

"_Cut your arms." I couldn't believe my ears. My 'husband' was telling me to cut my arms? Why? I did this as a child. It doesn't go well. It gets addicting. _

_And things seem like they never get better. _

_And in my situation, they don't. _

"_Do it." I still looked at him confused. I don't know why he wants me to do it. _

"_Wha-" He ran over and grabbed the knife out of my hand and pulled out my arm. _

_He sliced it open fast. The blood flowing out of me, quickly. _

_Pain..._

_But good pain. _

_I remember this feeling. Of feeling like you had no power, but finally you had power over something. But right now even though I feel that. I knew that he is the one controlling the situation. He says cut, I cut. He says not to, I don't. Its just how it works. And we will watch me all day everyday once I am addicted to it. To make sure I wont. So again, I don't get my way. But in a way I guess he is protecting me there, at that point. But not really if he is the one who made me do it in the first place. _

_I heard his phone ring, he went to go get it and dropped the knife next to me. Blood staining our carpets. _

"_What are you talking about! I don't have a child with her!" When I heard him say that I thought about what and who he was talking about. Was he talking about me. Because I have not told him yet that I am pregnant. Because I am in denial myself. I don't want to have a baby. I mean when I was a kid I wanted many many children. But when I got together with John, and he started this... I don't want one anymore. I don't want to put a poor innocent child through hell. I need to get out. I want to get out... But at all the same time... I don't want to get out. _

**Hey you guys! I know that this is late, really late. But I have been really 'busy' lets say. Have been in and out of the hospital and my brother is annoying me a lot haha. But I really am going to try and update a lot more! Because now that I am homeschooled it will be a lot easier for me to! I can't wait to get back on track with my stories! Thank you everyone! **

**You guys keep me going**

**R&R**

**Sierra **


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